( he doesn't get very far. the front door, maybe, but then andrew's hand is wrapped around his forearm, shoving his back into the door. too close up against him, not touching but only just, with a hand cupping the side of aaron's head and his other pinning his chin, keeping him in place.

he thinks it's the first emotion he hasn't been able to keep off his face for a long, long time. how fitting it is, that the emotion is rage. )

Never say anything like that. ( he grips him tighter, uncomfortably. ) Never say anything like that. Ever. I.

( he feels sick. it's the idea there again, the thought, aaron going through the same abuse andrew did -- and he knows what it would look like, too. he saw the video recordings. drake needed to prove to riko he'd done as he asked, and proust had that footage by proxy. of course they showed him. it's not himself in his mind's eye anymore, though, it's aaron -- and who would he be, if their positions had been reversed? different, completely and entirely. so would aaron. andrew doesn't wish his life on anyone, not the people who raped him and not riko or the ravens, least of all aaron, who had it bad enough as it is.

at the end of the day, there's only one person andrew thinks deserved the life that he had. ( up to a point. he's never done one thing to deserve axel's love. )

sick. he's going to be sick. he needs axel. he needs aaron to stay. he needs to remember how to breathe. )

I took you away from that wretched woman so you could have a better life, Aaron. I'll kill you if you ever say that again. ( closer. foreheads touch. ) Do you believe me? I'll kill you.

( he shouldn't. it'll kill andrew first. )