[ Andrew's not wrong that Aaron had never really got it. How could he have ever understood the way Andrew thinks when they don't nearly talk enough for it to really make any sense. Andrew's actions are what Aaron understands or, at the least, can anticipate. ]

Then make me get it, for fuck's sake.

[ The words are muttered. He's tired, frustrated and he wants to understand Andrew. He wants to know him. He wants to be close, accepted. Loved? He wants more than cold glances and violence but they've been stuck, haven't they? Is it even possible to be more than this? More than deals and cold war status indefinitely? ]

Why would I think that? [ He's confused because in Aaron's mind what happened to Andrew hadn't made him look weaker, stronger, though, maybe. It'd made Aaron feel weaker. It'd made him feel guilty that his life had been better, that he hadn't been the one underneath Drake, that he hadn't killed Drake faster. Aaron's the weak one. ]

You're not weak. Stupid and impossible, maybe, but not weak. [ 'And I love you.' It's right there on the tip of his tongue but the words feel like a nuclear bomb waiting to destroy the world. ]