[ Aaron doesn't think too much about the touch, other than it's strange but not in a wrong, just the way that he and Andrew don't touch, not a lot, not affectionately. It wouldn't be such a bad thing if they were to start even if just because Aaron burned himself. He curls his hand into a fist, this time looser. The way the burn smarts is centering, cutting through a lot of the noise in his head and letting him focus on navigating this conversation with Andrew better.
When Andrew sits, there's a moment of hesitation. Then Andrew makes the new proposal.
After it, Aaron sits down at the far end of the sofa away from Andrew but still sitting with him in a way. It's a fairer deal, perhaps, than their original one but truly, he thinks Andrew gets a lot more out of it than he does -- but Andrew deserves it, doesn't he? Andrew deserves what he wants. Aaron had already ruined his life so much by just existing, by being the cancer that was in the womb with Andrew that was the one that Tilda took home. ]
We never make each other choose. It doesn't change anything else. [ There's words that still burn to get out in light of knowing he'd confronted Murphy, the things he knew Axel had told Andrew. He wants to tell him he's not gay, he wants to tell Andrew how much he hates himself and that he feels alone but what would be the point?
None of those are things that Andrew can help him with, protect him from. Andrew is everything to Aaron but he couldn't provide everything. ]
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When Andrew sits, there's a moment of hesitation. Then Andrew makes the new proposal.
After it, Aaron sits down at the far end of the sofa away from Andrew but still sitting with him in a way. It's a fairer deal, perhaps, than their original one but truly, he thinks Andrew gets a lot more out of it than he does -- but Andrew deserves it, doesn't he? Andrew deserves what he wants. Aaron had already ruined his life so much by just existing, by being the cancer that was in the womb with Andrew that was the one that Tilda took home. ]
We never make each other choose. It doesn't change anything else. [ There's words that still burn to get out in light of knowing he'd confronted Murphy, the things he knew Axel had told Andrew. He wants to tell him he's not gay, he wants to tell Andrew how much he hates himself and that he feels alone but what would be the point?
None of those are things that Andrew can help him with, protect him from. Andrew is everything to Aaron but he couldn't provide everything. ]